The journey I’ve been on for the last two years is not one I’d wish on anyone. I’d like to say I’m a better person for having gone through it, but I’m not. What I am is thankful for having survived it.
We lost our daughter in 2018. As that year came to an end, I was a shell of myself. From the outside it may not have been as obvious because I was pretty good at going through the motions. Each day I’d put one foot in front of the other in an effort to check a few things off my to-do list before I allowed myself to pull the covers back over my head for another sleepless night. But inside, I remember feeling very little beyond profound heartbreak. The horrors of Stephanie’s death were winning; the agony of losing her erasing memories of our happier times. I hadn’t just lost her; I lost an entire lifetime. Continue reading “It’s Easier Than You Think to Die Before You’re Dead”
I’m not about to deny the place in my heart reserved for football and pumpkin spice lattes, but they don’t seem to be enough to make Autumn feel significant. So simply put, I’m striving to give this glorious season a more befitting identity within my life. The downgrade seemed to have started during my years as a small business owner when it became a respite between the chaotic pace of summer entertaining and the exhausting demands of the holiday retail season. Typically, I dragged myself into September desperate to catch my breath and reclaim some semblance of a normal life if only for a few weeks. Not exactly lofty goals.