Hitting the pause button at the beginning of October may have been the best decision I’ve made since starting Chapter 3. At the time, a string of destructive hurricanes followed by the horrific Las Vegas massacre had dimmed my creativity. Feeling pretty down from it all, I not only stopped blogging, I minimized the amount time I spent watching the news and keeping up with the outside world. I greatly reduced my involvement on social media. I walked more; I read more. We still had visitors and plenty of social interaction so I didn’t withdraw completely. But I certainly took a big step back.
There was one thing I did abandon entirely – planning. I literally had no goals for October. Or if I did, I never opened my planner to look at them. I simply woke up each morning and did what needed to be done. Well, to be completely honest, on most days I did only what I felt like doing of what needed to be done. Not once this past month did I make a to-do list. It was as close to living in the moment as I ever remember.
None of this was premeditated. It began as an instinctive response to the insanity that seemed to have a grip on every news cycle in late September. A sort of defensive reaction to the madness. I had no intention to permanently adopt this aimless lifestyle; who could go through life with no goals? But it felt right at the time. Obviously, I couldn’t control the evil in the world, but it seemed like slowing down the demands in my own life might make it easier to cope with it all. And it did. Day by day, I noticed a calm returning as I disconnected from many of my routines.
You might think I’m heading toward a revelation about how much pleasure I discovered during my bout of spontaneity. Not exactly. Don’t get me wrong; there’s a lot to be said for the ease of daily life when you have no real expectation for accomplishing anything. But unfortunately, it was hard to completely shed the guilt my Type A personality wields when I waste time. The lack of productivity weighed on me, so by mid-month I made a deal with myself that once all our visitors left for the season – early November – I’d get back to tackling the long project list I had abruptly abandoned.
So, here’s the good part. When I sat down yesterday to start outlining what I wanted to accomplish before Thanksgiving, I had a huge surprise. With no planning, focus or intention, October had been amazingly productive! Not a single task off my list had been completed, yet I was thrilled with the strides made in two significant areas that had been neglected for too long.
You may remember Cooper, our out-of-control collie from my blog I May Have Been a Dog Person for a Second. Well, after pulling our hair out for nearly a year with his shenanigans, we finally opened our minds, and our wallets, to the idea of professional help. In hindsight, we had been spinning our wheels for months hoping that he would outgrow some of his bad behavior and eventually settle into the mild-mannered pet we had expected based on our previous history with collies. Instead, he was becoming more of a terror and we were clearly incapable of reeling him in. We quickly identified a program that seemed perfect for his needs, met with his trainer and handed him off to live with her for two weeks.
He’s been home for a few days and the difference is remarkable. We’re all still figuring out this new family order, but there’s no doubt he’s a lot easier to live with. A month ago, our commands were ignored. Now he’s eager to please and is far more compliant than we ever imagined… at least most of the time. He’s calmer; his Alpha tendencies barely visible. Reform school worked wonders for our stubborn pup, and we’re thrilled to be ending October well on our way to having the loving companion we had hoped for.
As if that wasn’t enough, there was another huge breakthrough. Without putting pen to paper, or finger to keyboard, my writing took a huge leap forward this past month. A while back, I had crossed paths online with a freelance editor. She was featured very positively in a blog about the value to aspiring authors of getting honest feedback. During a brief exchange of comments, I mentioned that at some point I would need to have an editor look at my work. She said she was booked through Spring 2018, but was kind enough to say if I was still interested in December when she opened her schedule for next summer, to shoot her an email and she’d work me in.
I’ve probably never mentioned it in this blog, but in the summer of 2013 I impulsively picked up my laptop and drafted a novel. It started as a lark, but over the next two years I rewrote it several times and by 2015 it had morphed into a trilogy. But then life pulled me away and I haven’t touched the books since. I honestly couldn’t even remember what state I left them in, so I decided it was probably best to take another look after the holidays before deciding what to do next.
Then out of the blue in early October, I received a very nice email from my new editor friend saying she’d had a last-minute cancellation on a manuscript evaluation. She went on to say it had been a long time since she worked with a true novice, so if I could get her my book by the end of the day she’d fit me in for a high-level evaluation. Every ounce of reason I had said I should pass on her offer and take the time to make sure the book was in good enough shape before handing it over. But sanity didn’t rule me in October and I hit reply, attached my manuscript, and sent it off before I had a chance to talk myself out of it. I could have kept myself busy rewriting this book for years while probably never making it any better. Sort of like the situation with training our dog; I was beyond my capabilities when it came to knowing what my book needed, or if it was even worth the effort.
I just received her feedback this week and the fairly positive assessment has me sky-high. I think I had expected her to tell me to scrap it and start a new book… or maybe just find a new hobby. It’s funny how a couple of sentences about the potential of my work took the sting out of the thirty-three pages of brutal, but mostly insightful, plot comments and writing critique that followed. While it will take a while to digest it all, and at least a few months to do the rewrite, I’m so energized to have solid direction. I love the time I spend writing, but I’ll love it even more if my effort eventually amounts to something.
My little break in October hasn’t made the world any safer or kinder, and there’s no end in sight to the suffering brought on by mother nature or demented people. But stepping back from it was good for me. What was born out of a need to revive my spirit has done that and much more. As November begins, I find myself on a completely different path than I had expected just a few weeks ago. This short hiatus from my all too often fanatical pursuit of achievements was another good reminder that sometimes letting go – allowing others take the wheel – may just take me further than I could ever go on my own.
