This trip was years in the making and like most weekend jaunts, just as we picked up the pulse of the city it was over. But then I never have enough time in New York City. Fortunately for my daughter, Stephanie, it was everything she had dreamed it would be and since this getaway had one specific purpose – to celebrate her thirtieth birthday – having it live up to her expectations was all that mattered.
She began talking about going to New York City days after she turned twenty-six. She seemed so into it that I offered to take her for her twenty-seventh birthday, but she declined. She ultimately decided Asheville was a better fit for her twenty-seventh. The following year, she began making lists of the places she wanted to go when we went to New York, so as her twenty-eighth birthday approached I was sure she was ready to go. Nope, Lexington, Kentucky was the preferred location to celebrate her twenty-eight. And while planning for New York continued to captivate her, Steph refused to entertain it as an option for her twenty-ninth either. New York City had been tagged for her thirtieth and so we continued to plan, stash away extra cash in our hidden NYC Mad Money jar, and day dream about our pending trip to the Big Apple.
Her ability to obsess over something, yet maintain restraint when it’s being dangled in front of her is a trait that makes Stephanie unique in our family. Nobody else would have put that trip off for years; they’d want it immediately, and if they did wait, it could never have lived up to expectations after so long in the making. Maybe it’s the Down Syndrome influence, or maybe not. Years ago, realizing we’d never fully understand the DS impact, we stopped pondering the effect of her extra chromosome. Besides, it’s not as if the rest of our tribe is homogenous; what excuse do those of us carrying a normal gene complement have for our weirdly distinctive personality quirks. What I do know about Steph is that despite thirty trips around the sun, her often child-like perspective on the world is enviable.
As we began our journey north, we stopped off in D.C. to collect our third musketeer: Steph’s aunt and godmother, and my sister, Sandy. Sandy had thoughtfully arranged for a limo to Union Station for Steph’s first ever long-distance train ride. The last time I was on Amtrak was about twelve years ago so I was curious if modern era safety concerns had changed rail travel as much as they’ve altered air travel. Surprising absolutely nothing had changed; there’s still more security in our local library. And the boarding process was just as chaotic as ever; somehow, I’d forgotten the bedlam when they open the gate and passengers flood the platform, rushing from car to car in search of open seating. Tons of fun for less experienced travelers loaded down with luggage trying to find three seats together.
Our first memorable moment came minutes after arriving in NYC. It involved stepping from the relative calm of the train onto the platform at Penn Station. Before we inhaled our first breath of NY air we were herded up a steep flight of stairs by the momentum of the mob and dumped into the deafening terminal packed wall-to-wall with commuters fighting for position on the next outbound train. I had to smile as I caught a brief glimpse of the terror etched across Steph and Sandy’s faces before the crowd swallowed us up. Unable to see two feet in front of us, we were struggling just to hang onto our luggage and stay together when Steph announced she needed to go to the ladies’ room. . . NOW. If you’ve ever tried to find the rest rooms in Penn Station, even when it’s completely empty, you’ll understand how hopeless that request was. Welcome to New York City, darling.
From such a frantic beginning, the fact that our naïve little troupe found our way out of Penn Station onto 34th Street felt a bit like a miracle (pun intended). But there was still no time to celebrate our arrival because we were immediately swept away by the crush of pedestrians rushing through Herald Square. Thankfully they shoved us in the direction of our hotel and within seconds we had picked up our pace to blend in with the throng. Well, as much as three suburbanites tugging roller boards with their wide-eyes shooting toward the sky as they exclaimed, “Wow, look how tall that building is!” can fit in… so basically, we stuck out like the geeky tourists we were.
Over the next few days as we trekked through the land of endless skyscrapers, Steph’s personality emerged more with each stop on our journey. She had planned our itinerary, starting with an initial list that would have taken us months to complete and tediously culling it down to a more manageable schedule for our long weekend. Stephanie has never learned the fine art of tying her shoes, but the girl has a master’s degree in Google. It was quickly obvious her final choices were heavily influenced by Mary-Kate & Ashly’s New York Minute. There was also a healthy dose of Miracle on 34th Street and Serendipity with a sprinkling of the Today Show and Madagascar. While we hit many of the typical NYC landmarks – Empire State Building, Radio City Music Hall, Times Square, Rockefeller Center, 5th Avenue, Central Park Zoo, and the Met steps – ours was not your everyday NYC tour.
Food for one thing – we are not exactly gourmets and most people going to NYC are probably looking for higher end dining experiences than we opted for. Sandy and I were thrilled to find such a great variety of healthy food everywhere we looked, but Steph had a few very specific indulgences planned.
We went on a walking tour in Greenwich Village where we sampled pizza from several restaurants while learning its history and more than you’d ever want to know about the various types of pizza ovens. Steph even got to try her hand at making pizza dough. I was happy because we were working off each slice by walking to the next restaurant… a brilliant way to splurge!
We also had to sample a shake and burger at Shake Shack; partly because we don’t have them in Tennessee and mostly because they get a lot of celebrity mentions. I’d give it a thumb up: the burger tasted really fresh and the portions were smaller – no super-sizing – so it was a good choice for those of us not so keen on beef.
And then there was Serendipity 3 – the setting for one of our favorite movies and the namesake for our store – and hands down a must for ice cream enthusiasts. We went for dinner; had their signature frozen hot chocolate as an appetizer, skipped the entree and had enormous hot fudge sundaes for dessert… heaven.
We also visited MoMA, which is obviously a major tourist attraction and maybe not surprising to anyone but me that it made Steph’s cut. It shocked me because I honestly had no idea until this trip that my daughter had such a fondness for modern art. She was particularly excited to see a certain Picasso painting, which turned out to be Van Gogh’s Starry Night . . . but she loved it anyway. She beamed as we passed from one exhibit hall to the next; most filled with artwork that looked to me like it could be hanging on the refrigerator of any family with elementary school aged kids. She said it was her favorite thing we did… go figure. While I found the whole experience dreadful personally, watching her delight made it my favorite thing too.
And then there were the outdoor chess players in Washington Square Park. Of course, she was unaware of their pay-to-play arrangement, so I stopped her just as she was ready to sit down across from an elderly gentleman waiting for a mark – I mean opponent – and reminded her she didn’t know how to play chess. She said she had always wanted to learn and he could teach her. Hmmm, it took me years to teach her to play checkers and we had less than twenty-two hours left in the city. I encouraged her to consider learning to play chess when we got back to Tennessee and challenging this fellow on our next visit. It took a little coaxing and I’m not sure who was more relieved when she finally gave in, me or the gentleman in the dirty plaid shirt and scruffy beard that will never fully understand the bullet he dodged.
Maybe more telling were the things she eliminated from the list, which pretty much included all my suggestions. She nixed Broadway shows because we can do that in Knoxville. I pleaded my case by explaining that what they call the Broadway series at the Tennessee Theater is a lot like eating New York style pizza from Papa Murphy’s – not at all the same. It was lost on her… Broadway didn’t make the cut.
And no 9/11 memorial or Freedom Tower visit either. I fought hard for these since I hadn’t visited NYC since the spring before the attack. She insisted I already knew what they looked like and we were short on time. Yes, I said, I’ve seen pictures and the documentaries, but I wanted to experience it … I wanted to feel it. Selfishly I even suggested we trade off our time at MoMA, not understanding at the time how important that was to her. To her credit, she held firm. Finally, my sister helped me see it from Stephanie’s perspective. In her mind this New York trip was a long-anticipated celebration and any activity related to September 11 was way too sad to include in her festive weekend. Adults find remembrances to be important; visiting memorials help us heal, encourages us to move forward with purpose. But this was one of those situations when Steph was thirty going on ten… when she was my forever child. She didn’t need to be reminded of something so dreadful; instead she needed to be shielded from a memory too horrific for her soft heart. Important lesson for mom; thanks, Aunt Sandy.
In the end, it was fantastic girl time; we walked and talked and laughed our way from one end of Manhattan to the other. I’m an urban girl at heart so the city vibe is always good for my soul. But the thing I loved most about this trip was allowing Steph to lead gave me fresh insight into the person she’s become. Too often she gets overshadowed by the more dominant personalities around her. But this was her trip, and we did it her way start to finish. Thanks to an amazing few days, I came home understanding my daughter a little better and appreciating her individuality a whole lot more.
