Does Anyone Actually Eat Peeps?

For more than sixty years, Peeps have made an appearance every Spring on store shelves taking their rightful place among all the other Easter candy. While they’ve started creeping into the other major holidays, this is most definitely their season. The original 1950’s yellow chick Peeps are the perennial best seller, but the menagerie has grown considerably over the years and now includes: bunny peeps, peeps dipped in chocolate and caramel, peeps on a stick, mini peeps, giant peeps, stuffed animal peeps, and probably some I’ve missed. And they come in every color in the rainbow and even a few colors that nature doesn’t claim. The flavors are just as varied: red velvet, fruit punch, blue raspberry, cotton candy, sour watermelon, sugar plum, bubble gum, and party cake are just a sampling of the tastes they hope will tempt you into snatching these bizarre little creatures off the shelves.

It was no surprise to see them in every grocery and drug store I frequented in the last month, but I’ve also noticed them in craft stores, gas stations, and even the car wash. Peeps have never really been my thing, so despite their abundance, I hadn’t given them much thought until I had one of those surreal small town encounters in the grocery store the other day that prompted me to ask the question: “Does anyone actually eat Peeps?”

I was somewhat oblivious to the woman ahead of me in the check-out line until she turned around and there it was plastered across the front of her hot pink t-shirt, “Act Like a Lady . . . Hunt Like a Redneck”, with a bedazzled rifle underneath the words. You may find it hard to believe, but her expressive t-shirt was not the most distinguishing thing about her. What captured my attention immediately were the purple Peeps dangling from her ears. Now, they weren’t those inexpensive trinket-type earrings they sell in thrift stores, these were real Peeps . . . she had full-size purple marshmallow bunnies hanging from her ears. And in an odd way, with the big hair and matching eye shadow, she somehow pulled the whole look off. But I digress.

I wasn’t the only one to notice the sugary treats swaying from her lobes. The clerk greeted her with an excited, “Amy Lynn, I love your earrings!” To which she modestly replied, “Thanks, I made them myself.” And they proceeded to talk for twenty minutes about how to make them – it seems very fine fishing line and making sure the Peeps were stale was of utmost importance. Amy Lynn proudly shared that she was thinking about making a necklace next. Now, to be fair it wasn’t really twenty minutes, but despite living in the south for nearly seventeen years, anything beyond the obligatory exchange of pleasantries at the grocery store check-out counter usually seemed like an eternity to me. But at that moment, their enthusiasm for this DIY fashion statement had me mildly amused and I’m still kicking myself that I didn’t think to ask if I could snap a picture.

The next morning a segment on the Today Show caught my attention when they said over 700 million Peeps would be sold in America this Easter season. The company representative called them one of America’s favorite candies and was particularly proud that Peeps contain only four ingredients: Sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, and air. For some reason, she seemed to think that fact alone would make us run out and buy them. The first two ingredients are both sugar which doesn’t appeal to me personally, but if they are as popular as she says it may help explain why half the country seems to be boarding on obesity and diabetes these days. There was also no mention of the dyes they use to get such vivid colors, but who would want to talk about such nasty chemicals. And gelatin, the third ingredient, is one of those friendly sounding substances that I think I remember reading is derived from cattle hooves and carnauba wax. Sounding better and better.

But I kept thinking about how many of these little critters they sell – 700 million is a huge number. Surely, somebody must eat them. So, I started asking everyone I talked to if they ate Peeps. Of the more than fifty people I’ve asked, only three admitted to liking the sugary, boldly-colored marshmallow candy enough to ingest it, but none claimed them as a favorite. Several people did acknowledge buying them to put in Easter baskets. One of my neighbors has a DIY Peep wreath on her door; she said they were last year’s Peeps that nobody ate and she didn’t want to waste them. And of course, there’s Amy Lynn. My survey was hardly scientific, but unless a very small number of people are eating an alarmingly large number of Peeps, there seems to be a significant gap between the number sold and the number consumed. I’m guessing there’s a multi-million-dollar research project going on somewhere that will eventually get to the bottom of it, but for now I have a solid dark chocolate bunny waiting to be devoured.

Happy Easter, Y’all!