The Apple Store: A Retail Oydessy

“You went into the Apple Store? Like all the way in?” my friend Cassie asked, her eyes wide with amazement.

“Yep, all the way in,” I said proudly, thinking back to the surge of anxiety I felt as I crossed the threshold into retail’s great beyond.

It all started last Friday morning as I was perusing my to-do list over coffee. I use a red star to signify high priority, and that day there was only one red star task: buy a new laptop. It was something I’d been thinking about for a while but my six-year-old Dell was now giving me daily indications that our time together was coming to an end. I’d made the decision to buy a Mac mostly because it seemed like the ultimate free spirit kind of thing for a thirty-year PC/Windows veteran to do – I am after all starting a new chapter. I grabbed my credit card, another cup of coffee and googled MacBook on my iPad. I must have been feeling adventurous because before the search was finished, I snapped the iPad shut and jumped in the shower. In that split second I decided to turn a task easily accomplished through an online transaction into an experience.

I invited my husband to come along and was equal parts surprised and relieved when he said yes. While I use various iGadgets every day, venturing into the Apple Store was as unnerving as the thought of dropping by a tattoo parlor, so I was grateful for his company.

I hesitated for a moment as we approached, but this exotic marketplace roused my curiosity and drew me in. I wondered if this was anything close to the way Neil Armstrong felt as he stepped out of Apollo 11. Okay, the comparison to a moon walk might be a bit dramatic, but it really felt like we were entering another world. Planet Apple had a distinctive look: a cross between a utilitarian classroom and a high-tech command center. The menagerie of devices lining the walls and tabletops took my breath away but my first thought was that of pity for the poor soul that had the job of keeping all those screens spotless.

Directly ahead was a small cluster of twenty-somethings; all silently tapping away on various devices with communication apparatus (or maybe it was some sort of life-line) poking up from their ears. I suspected they were in serious conversation with the mother-ship because none of them looked up until we had breached their circle. The head “Ap-Alien” – I appointed him the leader since he was using two devices simultaneously and had the tallest antennae on his headset – looked up and greeted us with an inquisitive but amiable expression. He uttered no words, but I seemed to understand when he tilted his head slightly that he was waiting for me to state my purpose. I quickly told him I was on a mission for a new laptop and asked if he would point me in the right direction. As he pointed to the laptop area he asked if we’d prefer to explore on our own or with assistance. Delighted that he spoke a familiar language, I requested assistance. After he conveyed my needs through a microphone dangling from his headset, he went back to his devices and we trekked on to the laptop area and began to browse.

Soon after, my guide, Heather, arrived and we built an instant rapport when I joked that Maxwell Smart would have loved this place. Thinking back on it, I’m pretty sure she had no idea what I was talking about, but the fact that she laughed let me know my assigned “Ap-Alien” wasn’t a tech snob. Her sweet chuckle instantly put me at ease; it was clear she had no intention of mocking my technology ignorance and above all, she wanted my stay on Planet Apple to be pleasant. And she wasn’t the only one; I heard a lot of laughter that morning and as I’d glance around it was obvious people were enjoying themselves. It struck me that while many of these “Ap-Aliens” may not have been in the cool-kid clique in high school, here in the land of Apple they ruled. They were in their element and to their credit, they treated us visitors with patience and respect, which cannot always be said of the ruling class.

With Heather’s guidance, I purchased a MacBook Air. Had I bought online I would have selected the more expensive Pro, spending hundreds of dollars more for features I don’t understand and per my favorite “Ap-Alien”, didn’t need. As we finished the transaction I of course opted out of the paper receipt because I’m sure it’s very un-cool on Planet Apple to need paper. I then thanked her sincerely for not up-selling me; I honestly can’t remember the last time that happened. As she handed me my new treasure, she slipped me a piece of paper with some handwritten notes she’d made as we talked. It was titled: Heather’s Tips for Making Your Migration to Mac Painless! I smiled; Dell never sent me a handwritten note.

As we walked out of the Apple Store sporting that super cool white shopping bag adorned only with the iconic logo, I must admit to feeling slightly more relevant. Strolling through the mall I noticed people, especially the senior set, eyeing our bag. I knew what they were thinking – no way I’d ever step inside that place – because until a few hours ago, that’s exactly what I thought. But not now, we’ll be back . . . it sure beats our normal date nights at Home Depot.